Wedding Jokes

Wedding Jokes: I will reiterate what I have already said in wedding quotations be prudent, tasteful and apply large lashings of common sense when choosing jokes to interject into your wedding speech. They should never be blue or vulgar. Blaspheming is out of the question. Never humiliate the bride, perhaps a tiny amount of teasing, sometimes embarrass the groom, but never tell tales out of school particularly about past conquests!

Wedding Jokes: And Some Anecdotes

If you are not sure then leave them out! Stick to wedding quotations (see above link). As at the dinner table remember the old adage - never mention religion, sex, or politics. That will still leave you with plenty of scope. Here goes:

ª The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.

ª Adam: “Eve, do you really love me?” Eve: “Who else?”

ª Someone once said that marriage is what teaches a man frugality, regularity, temperance – and other virtues he wouldn’t have needed if he’d stayed single.

ª I’ve been told that a glass of champagne will cure all sorts of ills. All you need is a candle. You light the candle, drink the glass and wait five minutes. Then, drink another glass, still watching the candle. You keep this up until you can see three candles. Then, you blow out the middle one, and go to sleep.

ª Today, I’ve been given two very useful pieces of advice. The first is: Try praising your wife – even if it does frighten her at first. The second: If you don’t at first succeed, do it the way your wife told you.

ª The brain is a wonderful thing. It never stops working form the time you are born until the moment you start to make a speech.

More Wedding Jokes

ª Here is a wedding day weather forecast. Two warm fronts are converging, followed later by a little sun.

ª When your daughter gets married and leaves home, people say, to cheer you up, “You’re not losing a daughter, you’re gaining a son.” I’m luckier than that, I’m also gaining a telephone!

ª They had been married a year when the wife confessed that she’d splashed out his money on ten new pairs of shoes. “Ten!” he exploded, “What could you possibly want with ten new pairs of shoes?” She smiled at him fondly, “Ten new handbags” she explained.

ª Always remember, misfortune is a point of view. No doubt your headaches feel good to an aspirin salesman!

ª “x” said he knew “y” could keep a secret. They’d been engaged for weeks before he knew anything about it!

Wedding Jokes: Anecdotes

Father’s of the bride and the best man are the most usual people to include anecdotes in their speeches. Father’s usually refer to an incident(s) in their daughter’s childhood – remember to keep the anecdotes to one or two only and do not embarrass your daughter. The best man will certainly have a few scattered throughout his speech, however, past conquests should not be mentioned and nor should any exploits that occurred on the stag night!

Finally, “Live today to the fullest! Remember, it’s the first day of the rest of your life”.