Role Of The Father Of The Bride

Role Of The Father Of The Bride: all things to all men and women! Deep, unending pockets? Peacemaker! The very broad shoulder to cry on. Mr Fix-It and Mr DIY. The magician and “but I know a man who can”! Stiff upper lip, permanent smile, with never ending tact and good humour. Yes and there’s more! You are expected to turn yourself into Superman and save the day. So, you immediately have an impossible role, but here are a few tips to guide you through a potential mine field.

Role Of The Father Of The Bride: Wedding Costs

Very early on it is necessary to sit down and agree upon a budget. Be warned that very few couples come in under budget as most overspend. Get everybody, particularly your wife/partner on board, explaining the necessity to stick to the budget, e.g. money saved is money in the bank for the newly weds. If money is scarce, look at my DIY wedding tips: DIY Weddings.

Traditionally, the bride’s father picks up the following costs, see: Wedding Etiquette. However, today if both the bride and groom are working, or arranging their own wedding, they may make a contribution, or pay for their wedding in it’s entirety. Finally, it is worth having a small contingency fund – but I would keep that knowledge to yourself!

Role Of The Father Of The Bride: Peacemaker

You cannot be expected to turn yourself into an experienced psychologist overnight. You may not wish to read the book “Men are from Venus, Women are from Mars”, but now would be a good time. So what can you do?

- gently remind them of the budget that everyone agreed to stick to
- remember it is the bride and groom’s day
- when things get frantic, suggest timeout
- when your daughter and wife are at loggerheads hand your wife a large glass of wine and cook her a meal. Alternatively book her a day’s pampering at a spa. Suggest to the groom that he do the same for his bride.
- a fresh perspective is often helpful – is there a trusted family friend, aunt or uncle, who may be called upon to help referee so that you are not always “piggy-in-the-middle”
- recognize when additional help is required, particularly if following the DIY route
- don’t say “I told you so”, or knock down the couple’s ideas, work through the suggestions to see if they could actually work, or point out any pitfalls in a positive manner.

Role Of The Father Of The Bride: Giving the Bride Away

Although there is no legal requirement, it is traditionally the father’s duty to walk his daughter down the aisle escorting her to the groom, to give her hand away in marriage. The bride should take your right arm.

If, for any reason, you are unable to walk there are options:

- let your wife walk your daughter down the aisle and pass her daughter’s hand to you in front of the marriage celebrant
- alternatively let your son/nephew/brother escort your daughter, presenting her to you in front of the marriage celebrant
- you may need to consider the role of a stepfather

It is far better to do this, than collapse half way down the aisle!

Role Of The Father Of The Bride: Speech and Toasts

Very few look forward to giving a speech or toast. For my tips see: wedding toasts and speeches. However, it will be your duty to give the opening speech. You may wish to include:

- a welcome to all family and friends
- a thank you for overseas guests
- how beautiful your daughter looks
- a childhood anecdote, or one particular fond memory of your daughter
- recognition that two families are uniting
- recognition of his son-in-law
- end with a toast to “the bride and groom”

Role Of The Father Of The Bride: Other Duties

There are just a few more duties for you to consider:

- ensure your are correctly attired (suit dry cleaned, shoes polished)
- ensure you have had a haircut, beard trimmed
- travel to the wedding venue with the bride
- witness the signing of the register
- escort the bride’s mother after the wedding ceremony.

Perhaps you are beginning to realize what you knew all along – you are Superman after all!

Role Of The Father Of The Bride