Jewish American Weddings

Jewish American Weddings: the first Jewish community has been established in New York since 1654. Famous American Jews include Jerry Seinfeld, Mel Brooks, William Shatner and Neil Diamond. However, it does not matter if you are based in America or Europe as Jewish ceremonies share lots of customs. At the risk of repeating myself, it is necessary to do your research about your heritage, as this may affect some of the customs that you wish to have included in your interfaith marriage. After that, you will have to find a Rabbi who is agreeable to marrying an interfaith couple.

Brief Background to Jewish American Weddings:

First there are two cultures – the Ashkenazi Jews of Eastern Europe and the Sephardic Jews of Idle Eastern and Spain. Their customs are very different.

Within these two cultures there are three basic groups that affect their customs further:
- Orthodox Jews
- Conservative Jews, and
- Reform Jews

It was the Rabbis who wrote the Jewish law “Halakhah”. That pertaining to weddings they kept very simple. Legally there are only two parts:

(i) a bride needs to accept an object of worth (a coin(s)) from her intended groom. This is known as the “Kinyan”, and
(ii) the groom (once accepted) has to recite a ritual formula of acquisition and consecration. Everything else is a custom.

Customs Which Are Adopted Today in Jewish American Weddings:

Making a comeback in Jewish American weddings is the Ketuba. Originally this Aramaic document represented the bride’s acceptance of the groom’s proposal and that he agreed to support her i.e. pay a dowry.
- “Ketuba” now modernized as a vow of commitment and dedication between the bride and groom
- “Kethubhah” the marriage contract, signed by both parties and the Rabbi
- “Ketubot” the text of the marriage contract.
- “Badekin”, or veiling ceremony. The groom places the veil over his bride in the bridal chamber.
- “Chuppah” (or Chuppa) is a canopy under which the bride and groom stand during the wedding ceremony, having been walked down the aisle escorted by their respective parents, the groom leading. There are no regulations as to shape and size. Today they are elaborately decorated with flowers.
- “Circling” is carried out once under the Chuppah. The bride walks around her groom 3 or 7 times. The groom may also do this, they may even walk together in a circle. The circle being symbolic of eternal life.
- “Breaking the glass” occurs at the end of the wedding ceremony. The groom steps on a glass wrapped in a cloth. This has several meanings, maybe the breaking of the bride’s hymen which only the groom can do, or more poignantly that a broken glass cannot be mended.
- “Yichud” is seclusion time for the bride and groom after the wedding ceremony. It lasts for approximately 18 minutes during which time the couple reflect upon their married state. Also they share their first meal together. What is eaten depends upon their community. It may vary from soup to cookies.
- “Tallit” (prayer shawl) given to the groom by the bride
- “Mikvah” (ritual bath) taken by the bride as a symbol of purity

Receptions Of Jewish American Weddings:

At the wedding reception - “S’eudah Mitzvah”,

Food: it is traditional for the food to be prepared Kosher, adhering to the laws of the Torah. Kosher foods are those with no pork or shellfish. Meat and dairy cannot be served at the same meal. Click on the following link for a Kosher Wedding Menu.

The “wedding challah” is a large braided loaf of egg-rich bread. Once blessed it is shared by the bride and groom with their guests.

Music: Israeli folk music may be played, but you do not have to stick to traditional Jewish music. Anything that puts people in the party mood goes!

At the end of the wedding ceremony there is a traditional chanting of blessings.

The “Hora is a traditional wedding dance.

Other Traditions That May Be Followed In Jewish American Weddings:

- Weddings may not be conducted on the Sabbath (sundown Friday to sundown Saturday), holidays e.g. Yom Kippur, Passover Shavuot, Sukkoth & Rosh Hashanah, the Omer period, or between the 17th of Tamuz and 9th of Av.
- Following a death a wedding should be postponed for 30 days.
- The wedding invitation to be in both English and Hebrew. It should be worded “dance at” or “share the joy of” not “request the honour of your presence”. It may include biblical text.
- The bride wearing white as a symbol of purity conferred upon her by the wedding became customary in Ashkenazic Jews, who followed the example of their Christian neighbours.
- Brides of Sephardic origin may wear brightly coloured dresses and veils made of streaming gold coins.
- An Orthodox bride may wear white to signify she has been to the mikvah in preparation for the marriage.
- The groom may wear a “Kittel” (short white linen robe) over his suit, symbolizing his spiritual readiness for the wedding.

Finally, your Jewish American wedding ceremony does not have to be conducted in a Synagogue by a Rabbi . Alternatively you could hold your wedding in a temple or other venue of your choice.




Jewish American Weddings