Japanese Weddings

Japanese Weddings: it is not difficult at all to adopt some of the exquisite Japanese traditions into interfaith- European or American, marriages. How you go about it will depend upon your religion and prefecture your family originated from. Usually held in Spring or Autumn/Fall, a Japanese marriage revolves around ceremonies and traditions. That is why it is important to do your own research about your heritage.

Background To Traditional Japanese Weddings:

Japan is divided into eight regions: Hokkaido, Tohoku, Kanto, Chubu, Kinki, Chugoku, Shikoku and Kyushu. These regions are further divided into Prefectures (states or counties), forty-seven in total. Japan’s two major religions are Shinto and Buddhism, with a smattering of Confucianism, Christian and Muslim. Shinto, “the way of the Gods”, is not written down as the Bible or Sutras, but a deeply embedded way of life for the majority (approximately 80%) of Japanese. They may turn to Shinto for births and marriages, but to Buddhism for deaths.

Japanese weddings were “Mi-ai” (arranged), either between the families or a “Nakodo” (matchmaker), one for each family. If the groom was interested in his bride-to-be, he would leave a fan. The bride had very little say, if any, in the selection of her husband. Nowadays, the procedure for arranged marriages is more relaxed. An interview is held regarding suitability and a meeting of the couple at the theatre or a restaurant arranged. A Shinto wedding would follow the engagement ceremony. Over one third of Japanese weddings today are still carried out in the Shinto way.

Japanese Weddings - The Engagement Ceremony:

The engagement ceremony, “Yui-no”, was not just about the joining of two individuals, but two families. They would meet at a formal dinner on an auspicious day chosen from the Japanese almanac.

Then the groom and his bride to be would exchange as many as nine traditional gifts:

- an “obi” (kimono sash) was given by the groom to his bride-to-be
- “hakama” (pants) was given in return

A list, “mokuroku”, of other gifts receive would be noted. They may have included:

- “naga-nashi” (abalone shell) symbolic of sincere wishes
- “goshugi”, (money) wrapped in “iwai-bukuro”, an elaborate money envelope
- “katsuo-bushi” (dried bonito) symbolic of a lasting marriage
- “surume” (dried cuttlefish) also symbolic of a lasting marriage
- “konbu” ( kelp) symbolic of happy and health children
- “shiraga” (hemp) symbolic of strong family ties
- “yanagi-dara” (wine cask) in which money is placed to buy sake
- “suehiro” (fan) symbolic of happiness, bigger, better future
- “sake casks” made from “yui-no” (willow trees) symbolic of obedience and gentleness
(A similar list would be made at the wedding reception. The amount of money given by the guests depending upon how well they are known to the couple.)

Japanese Weddings – A Traditional Ceremony:

A Japanese wedding ceremony “San San Ku Do” (three times three) would be preformed before a Shinto Shrine by a Shinto Priest. There would be ceremonies honouring the “Kami” (Gods). Ceremonies would include the bride and groom exchanging sake nuptial cups sipping from them in turn three times. Today they also include the exchange of rings. A Japanese wedding ceremony is very private. It is attended by close family and, exceptionally, a couple of very close friends. Extended family, friends, co-workers, etc., would be invited to the wedding banquet that followed.

Traditional Bridal Attire:

A bride would change her dress several times during the course of the wedding celebrations. It demonstrated her willingness to get back to everyday life. She would be adorned in the following:
- “shiro-maku” (white & pure) kimono worn at the wedding ceremony
- “uchikake” (elaborate & coloured) worn over the kimono at the wedding reception
- “bunkin-takashimada” wedding hairstyle
- “kanzashi” ornaments, combs, accessories, worn in the hair
- “tsuno kakushi” (patience & serenity) white wedding hood
- “hakoseko” purse
- “kaiken” encased sword
- a fan tucked into her obi (sash)

A groom would wear:
- “montsuki kimono” either in black, gray or brown
- “haori” short overcoat bearing the family coat of arms
- “hakama” pleated pants

Japanese Weddings – The Wedding Banquet:

Please click on the following link for the “shichi go san zen” menu: Japanese Wedding Banquet.

The room would be decorated with “tsuru” (cranes), symbolic of peace and long life and paper lanterns (particularly red for luck). Musicians called “ga ga ku” would play flutes.

It is totally up to you and your partner as to how many of the Japanese traditions you wish to incorporate into your own wedding. You need to take into consideration the mix of eastern and western guests. Traditions may be introduced into a modern wedding through the wedding ceremony, dress, decorations, food, music, etc. You may decide to have a demonstration of a tea ceremony for your guests.

Wishing you a long and happy life together.




Japanese Weddings