Indian Weddings

Indian Weddings: “Bollywood” has opened up the West to Indian dance and music, but what are the components of a traditional Indian Wedding? How do these components translate into an interfaith marriage? Is it possible to combine two such diverse cultures? As with all cultures you need to research your heritage. Then you need to discuss with your partner the aspects of your heritage that are of such importance to you for them to be included in your wedding ceremony.

Factors Influencing Indian Weddings:

(i) the community to which you belong. Briefly there are four main communities within India:

- North Indian: Arya, Kashmiri, Madhya, Punjabi, Sindhi, Kayast
- South Indian: Andhra, Bunt, Karnataka, Kerala, Kodava, Saraswat, Tamil, Telangana
- West Indian: Gujarati, Jewish, Maharashtrian, Marwari, Parsee, Roman Catholic
- East Indian: Bengali, Bihari

(ii) within these communities there are five types of wedding ceremonies:

- Hindu
- Maharashtrian
- Muslim
- Gujarati
- Sindhi

(iii) the division - “jat” (or “joli”), in the caste - “varna”, to which you belong; there are four castes, but five categories:

- Brahman (priests, educated people)
- Kshatria (rulers, aristocrats)
- Vaisia (landlords, businessmen)
- Sudra (peasants, working class), then there are the
- Untouchables (outcasts, sewer cleaners)

In modern India the caste system is legally forbidden. However, it is still kept alive by the populous. “Foreigners” were regarded as Untouchables as they are not in one of the four castes. Today they are regarded with less suspicion. It was not possible for a person to marry outside their jat or caste. Any marriage had to be arranged, sometimes by a “pundit” (matchmaker). The couples “patrikas” (horoscopes) would be read and marriage only be permitted if there were sufficient “guna milan” (matching points). Today there are still arranged Indian weddings, but individuals may marry outside their caste.

Traditional Ceremonies for Indian Weddings:

The wedding ceremonies differ from community to community and within the communities. Almost without exception they last several days. Apart, that is, from the Herata Hindu Nair Wedding. It stands out for its shortness; it’s over in minutes and more of a social than religious ceremony. Each wedding has several components to it, anywhere between eight and forty, most of a spiritual nature, hence the length of the wedding. Fire and Water are two elements that play an important part. Other aspects are the role of the maternal uncle in the giving of gifts to the bride and her being adorned with henna. The food served at the wedding feast was limited to the castes diet.

What Aspects Translate into Modern Interfaith Indian Weddings?

This is dependent upon your community and faith. For example:

- at Bengali Weddings the serving of fish is a must. Also the ceremonies are generally held at night.
- at Parsee Weddings fire is the most sacred element. The “achoo meecho” (removing of the evil eye) is nearly always performed before every wedding.
More generally speaking:
- the bride may wear a red blouse and gold skirt “lengha” with a heavy veil
- the bride may wear traditional ornate jewelry, including the “teeka” on her head that is a symbol of her purity
- the bride may have a “kumkum” (red dot between the eyes), representing strength and love. Alternatively in its place she may have a decorative “bindi” (sometimes called “tiku” or “tilaka”). The bindi when circular represents the 3rd mystic eye.
- the groom may choose to wear white and a turban
- Indian Weddings are about the joining of not just two people, but two families and communities, so you may expect a large number of guests, even additional ones!
- the playing of the “shenai” (Indian Oboe) is considered particularly auspicious at Indian weddings
- the serving of traditional Indian food for your wedding feast - click here for an Indian Wedding Feast.
- hiring of musicians playing authentic instruments and traditional music
- incorporation of your language, e.g. for a spiritual reading during the ceremony
- book an authentic dance troupe
- encourage your guests to wear their sari’s

Indian weddings are unique due to the lack of commonality between communities, faiths and position in society. However, I hope I have given you a few ideas that you may use for your interfaith wedding.




Indian Weddings