Elopements

Elopements have taken a back seat recently, but may be a resurging trend if Tom Cruise fans have anything to do with it. If Tom is granted his wish for a “quickie” wedding he may just elope with Katie Holmes fulfilling her childhood wish to marry him. Katie is Catholic and Tom is a well-known Scientologist. An interfaith marriage will not be on the cards for them as it is rumored that Katie is already studying the Scientology faith.

What Are Elopements?

The dictionary tells us that it is: “to run away clandestinely, especially of a woman who abandons home ties to run away with a lover; to abscond, decamp, disappear, bolt unexpectedly” (The Modern University Dictionary). Historically there were far more elopements than there are today due to the more rigid requirements for marriage. Parental objections to couples marrying were often based on their youth and lack of means to support themselves.

In countries where there were, and still are, arranged marriages to elope was far more common. The Darais of Nepal called it Bhagi Bibaha”. In India the Tamil myth of Valli & Murugan dates back to 1 or 2 AD. In brief Valli eloped with her divine lover Murugan and had a pre-marital relationship prior to their marriage. Another famous example is of Arabella Stewart who eloped in 1610 to marry William Seymour. The English Crown had forbidden this marriage as they foresaw a potential threat to the throne. William escaped to France never to see his wife again who was captured and died in prison. Elopements do have consequences!

Questions To Ask Yourself Before Eloping:

- will you miss a traditional white wedding?
- does it matter to you if you are not true to your faith?
- do you mind your parents and family not being at your wedding?
- how do you feel about two strangers witnessing your wedding?
- how do you feel about no friends around to help you celebrate your wedding?
- how do you intend to break the news to your respective parents/guardians?
- why are you marrying in such haste?

Top Reasons Why People Elope:

- they want an affordable wedding
- they want to save time
- they need to maintain their sanity
- they want to have fun
- they want to have freedom from the norm

Let’s remember Nicky Hilton who eloped to Las Vegas. Her marriage was annulled shortly after. The old adage “marry in haste, repent at leisure” springs to mind!

Other Considerations Regarding Elopements:

- if you elope abroad will you wedding be recognized? Look at the famous example of Jerry Hall and her Balinese wedding to Mick Jaggar. It was not regarded as a legal marriage.
- if intending to live abroad you may have problems with obtaining a work permit and there may be issues regarding your residency. You may have to prove that it was not a marriage of convenience, which will delay an already lengthy process.
- you still have to fulfill legal requirements; complete an application for marriage; apply for a marriage license (which may be done in advance); produce your birth certificates; produce any divorce judgments; have any tests etc. carried out according to the jurisdiction in which you are marrying.

Where Do Couples Elope To Get Married?

Numerous elopement packages may be found on the web. You need to research you intended destination thoroughly. Traditionally:

- in the UK couples would go to Gretna Green. Scotland was more relaxed in its laws and couples over the age of 16 could (and still can) marry and declare themselves man and wife in front of witnesses.
- in the USA couples would go to Las Vegas, New Orleans and over the US boarder to Mexico. You need to be 18 plus and fulfill all the relevant states legal requirements. Providing your documentation is in order you can usually be married within 23 hours. In Mexico the only marriage recognized internationally is a civil ceremony.

Whatever your reason for eloping I hope you and your intended have a long and happy marriage.




Elopements